I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
