theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
