so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
