Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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