You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Randomize
