I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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