looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
