I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
