Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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