oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
