first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
