There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have demons in me.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
