You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
