just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
