Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
