i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
