5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
