We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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