Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize