I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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