Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
