I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hello my rib-scented angel!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
