Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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