I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Text me some of your sweat
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize