all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Everyone says I win the strip club
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
