Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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