I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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