I'm jealous of your bromance
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
