he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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