DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
