the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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