There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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