I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
