She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
