Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
