I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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