Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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