i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
