She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
