don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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