Little spoons don't ask big questions
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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