DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
