addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
