I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
