I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
