I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
