i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize