i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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