I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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