I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
