It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
