Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
