Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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