I hate your face
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
