dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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