i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
