Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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