Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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