I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
