i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
dude. I can hear the air.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
