I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
