remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
