Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
