as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
