I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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