so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize