He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
